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Thursday 17 August 2017

WALT: Plan for Writing


Don’t Mess With the Little Girl

Once upon a time at exactly dusk til dawn there  was a magical island beyond the clouds; around the corner of this beautiful whereabout was a dark haunted cloud filled with all of the rejections for the earth and making it a wonderful place to be. Down the further end of the cloud was a rusty cave that was restricted for all creatures and Humans. In this cave was a family filled with flying, magical, fire breathing dragon.

One day when the family had left the eldest dragon alone, he kidnapped a little girl from the other dimension and decided to put a  magic spell on her but little did he know he had read it wrong and accidentally alternated himself into a...GORILLA (“DUN DUN DUN”) as he turned into a gorilla the girl and himself descended for the clouds to the real world. When they had roughly fallen, they both fell in different positions of the city ‘Legvc’, when the gorilla fell he landed on his head and forgot a plethora of memories. 3 years later the gorilla was balling his eyes out as he lost everything on the night that he tried to to turn the girl into a gorilla but he transformed into a gorilla, and he could not ask for any help because they would never trust a gorilla, when it came to a dead end the gorilla just kept wishing that he would just rest for eternity.

One day he was walking like a sloth and a girl recognized his eyes and poked him in the heart with her lollipop stick and out came a huge fly which turned out to be the dragon but the dragon had better powers now because he can transform into anything and after the girl saved his life he decided to apologize for kidnapping her and he changed his personality to goodness instead of evil and he persuade his family to do the same thing, the family and the girl were friends and had parties together.

So the end of the story was his family and himself were good, well… for now!    

4 comments:

  1. Hi, i really love how you have lots of detail and powerful words in your story. keep up the good work πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

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  2. Hi, I really like those descriptive language and using powerful words.

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  3. Hi Grace,
    I really love this narrative you have made. You have added so much detail which is so AMAZING! And you have added some powerful words which adds tension to your story. To improve you could and more commas and full stops to make your sentences shorter. Other then that you done a great job! Keep it up Grace!

    Love,
    Lydia

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  4. Thank you everyone for your advice

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